Thursday, January 26, 2012

my feelings for you

"my feelings for You have always been real
i was so in love with You i could hardly see." (Avicii & Sebastien Drums - My Feelings for You, 2010)
enjoying my day off today (rest, squash - i lost, oh the humanity -, an easy run in the afternoon, and how about a movie!) and so, i picked one out of the blue, an old-time classic, Megamind (2010)!  indeed, genius!  thumbs up, from jsb!  good times!

this movie depicts the classic conversion story, and it has prompted me to write a bit about my own, thanks to Share Your Testimony, hat tip to the peeps over at CCO!  it always good to hear/read about other's conversion stories, and to remind yourself about your own!

the movie has got you hooked from the very start!  at one point, Megamind starts having a heated existential discussion with a himself, asking the same questions that i once asked, "is this it?"  after successfully taking over the world, he cries out to his friend ?, "we have it all.  yet, we have nothing. things are just too easy now."  but his friend tries to encourage him, "[yeah], we did it!"  Megamind looks at him, "then, why do i feel so unhappy?"

"what is my purpose?", was another question he pondered, as i did at the end of 2002, beginning of 2003.  i felt stuck, and paralyzed.  the world told me to be this type of person - have a career, money, a girlfriend, - i had everything they wanted me to have, but, why did i feel so unhappy?  there was a void in my heart, and there was only one person that could fill it.  Megamind found his joy in Roxanne, i found mine with God, in Our Lord Jesus Christ.  but actually, He found me first.

in 2003 i left everything to follow Our Lord.  actually, i struggle daily to leave everything, but that's for another day.  in 2003 i fell in love, and could hardly see.  our conversion moment is our Transfiguration moment, when we see God, in Our Lord Jesus Christ, for who He really is.  and like Peter, we utter, "it is good for us to be here.  let us build three tents."  the disciples didn't understand, or know what they were saying.  neither did i then, but it was the best two years of my life - i was on top of the world!  i left everything - money, job, career, girlfriend, future - gladly, joyfully, and entered the seminary.  you see, i was in love.  after a couple years, however, the honeymoon, was coming to end.  God, who first found me, now was asking me to work a little, and to find Him in all things.  i enjoyed my seminary years.  it may have been difficult at times, but like pregnancy - to use an analogy -, when your child arrives, you forget everything else.  after ordination to the priesthood, i simply forgot all the sufferings and difficulties before hand - again, i was in love!  i was now following God, in Our Lord Jesus Christ, through His priesthood.  it was another Transfiguration moment for me - i could hardly see, and didn't have the words to express myself.  life is beautiful with God, and now, i try to make Him known and loved by all, each and every day - one person at a time!


ps.  i know i am missing a few details in the last 10 years or so.  maybe i should write out the full conversion story one day?!  maybe.

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