Tuesday, July 21, 2009

knockin' on heaven's door


"mama take this badge from me
i can't use it anymore
it's getting dark too dark to see
feels like i'm knockin' on heaven's door"
(Bob Dylan - Knockin' on Heaven's Door, 1973)

many people have asked me how things are going. how is life as a new priest? how is ministry going? by the way, what exactly do you do? etc., etc., etc. at the moment, i'm learning. that's what i tell everyone. learning how to celebrate the Sacraments (daily mass - Eucharist, Reconciliation, Sacrament of the Sick, and i just celebrated a wedding this past weekend!). learning how to offer some hope and consolation to those dealing with death and dying. finally, simply learning to be a priest. good thing i have the Sacraments to support me.

at the seminary i as somebody. i lived in a room on the second floor. i was a 4th year seminarian (to be feared, or ignored, take your pick). many envied us since we rarely went downtown for classes, thus reducing our commute times exponentially. at the seminary, i was at the top of the ladder. today, i begin once again at the bottom. i look up the ladder afraid of taking the first step sometimes. the first step is always a doozy! when i left home for the first time (to Pittsburgh). when i bought my first house (and sold it 8months later). when i entered the seminary. transition periods in life are not to be minimized! i always underestimate them. i always try to hurry through the process, looking for a shortcut. i want to be in control, confident, and at peace. what's the hold up already?!?!

there is nothing wrong with being lost. at least i know the direction - Our Lord Jesus Christ! however, i lose focus even on God when life gets the best of me. because of my sin, it gets dark, too dark to see sometimes. that's why i return to the confessional, time and time again. i wonder if God is bothered by me knocking so often? i go to the Sacrament asking for pardon, peace and strength to continue my journey - where ever that may lead me. He always gives me peace, hope, and reorients me on the right path. God is good! indeed, he forgives me, and helps me to be a witness to him.

at the moment, attentive to the pager on my hip, i begin preparations for this weekend. my last weekend here at the Cathedral. yep, here comes another transition. i'm off to my new parish, Annunciation of the Lord, in less than two weeks. my arms are wide open, and looking forward in meeting my new family. peace out.

2 comments:

  1. Dude, sometimes I think you have the greatest insights, or rather you say exactly the situation of where I am. It is no wonder Mattei gave you 107% in sacraments class!!! You're a freakin genius!

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  2. ah, Mattei ... good times! sometimes i'm hit with an idea or two. it's only when i go to share them that i mess it up. glad something got thru this time. peace!

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